and here comes DECEMBER! my favourite month! :):):)

I HATE AHCHOO-ING!

just say im sick of human nature. the past few weeks were horrible for me. saw for myself how much i changed after i came uni and i still couldnt believe that change. saw the true colours of some people and this made me so disappointed in human nature and whether i will survive in the future working world. sometimes pple really dont give a damn about others so long as they got the results they want. tts how the world works.

cant wait for holidays to come. meeting up with dearest liting this wed after my stats exams! haven seen her for so long and i realised that auntie! we have know each other for nearly seven years now! =)))

so many problems during the exams the past week. but thankfully got the help of cheraik josh isaac and my bgs group. felt really grateful to them for helping me even though they got their exams to mug. and it proved that there are still nice people around in the stupid world.

and sometimes i wonder who is the real me. my ltb teammate says that i behaved super differently with my bgs group. sometimes we have so many sides of us that even ourselves dunno which one is the true me. all these things really suck mannn. so how can you be yourself when you dunno who is the real you? LOL.

counting down. two days!

imagine a bright room with windows open. at a corner there is a fan that is turned off. at another corner there is a desk and a person wearing a thick jacket with her hoodie on, sneezing away like crazy for like ehhh the third day?

tts me. =( why is the it so cold??????????!

i had a great time yesterday! cant believe i haven been out for so long. met up with ys to get zz's present. should have gotten him the hot pink shirt since he will only wear once only anyway. LOL. and ys is dam funny seriously. comb-based job. hahahah. and 500 days of summer isnt as nice as what they say. =( i nearly fall asleep. guess its just not my type of movie. so slow paced! but dinner at newton was nice! i got my OMG satay. hahaha. i love satays!!! stingray's nice too! and talking with the guys was so funny. too bad the rest cant make it. and i wanted to take a photo but they didnt want to =( so i took of the empty plates. sound so kelian la. not even of food. I WANT MORE MEET-UPS after my exams! feel so happy to not mug for a few hours yesterday. hahah.

ok back to mugging! i finished my 5pages learning journal today! yays. so tonight i can start revising alr! everything feels much more positive now that i got FA and learning journal down. haha.

give me more positive energy! =) i believe after like two days, i will be back to the negative yanru again. =(

im so in love with The Fray's songs! =) accompanying me through this sucky period. ok i should stop saying sucky. hahah. and Yiruma's SpringTime is super nice also. dunno why but i feel like crying everytime i listen to it.

and listen to never say never by the fray too!

Over My Head (Cable Car)
The Fray

I never knew
I never knew that everything was falling through
That everyone I knew was waiting on a cue
To turn and run when all I needed was the truth
But that's how it's got to be
It's coming down to nothing more than apathy
I'd rather run the other way than stay and see
The smoke and who's still standing when it clears

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

Let's rearrange
I wish you were a stranger I could disengage
Just say that we agree and then never change
Soften a bit until we all just get along
But that's disregard
Find another friend and you discard
As you lose the argument in a cable car
Hanging above as the canyon comes between

Everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

And suddenly I become a part of your past
I'm becoming the part that don't last
I'm losing you and its effortless
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down
I won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

And everyone knows I'm in
Over my head
Over my head
With eight seconds left in overtime
She's on your mind
She's on your mind

OK THANK GOODNESS IM DONE WITH THE FREAKING FA PROJECT. stayed up dam late for this the past whole week and stayed overnight in school to finish it. didnt even rest for like 5min the whole night. tts how bad it is. and now i still got my ltb learning journal. 5pages essay by monday. hope i got time to study for my exams.

most of the projects and lessons have come to an end. and with this, there will be some pple whom i most probably wont meet again. quite sad isnt it? that you come together because and only because of projects. i love my bgs group. all the crap we had during our meetings. my ltb group. despite the unhappiness we have in between, i still feel honoured to have the chance to work with them. so many things that i had learnt from them. and i really had fun working with them. and not forgetting my twc group with all the super zai pple who think and talk dam dam fast. haha. and crapping with colin and glorya cos we so happened to know each other (smu is dam small!).

my student called me to tell me to go back today for their grad day so went back yumin to meet them. hahah. they look so different in their home-clothes la! going for movie tmr with ys and zz! haven step into anywhere else except school and home for a long long long time. its a crazy one month plus 7-day work week for me.

and im really so depressed over my studies the past few days. =( like i cant find time for everything but i need to get everything done. this sucks man. i need a breather.

when i on my laptop, my fren ask me, "are you inside the photo?" (zzzz) and she continued,"who are the pple here?" and i replied, "my very close group of frens" =)

and my student called me today to ask me if i can give my number to another student. then they called me cos they refuse to believe that that was my number. LOL.

its november.

had been so so stresssed up recently. and start of bidding is not helping. =( feel that i had been missing out on so many things because of school. cant wait for chalet and hope that jing can make it. its the only thing to look forward to for now. i know my posts are getting more and more gloomy. hahaha. my life's really dam sian now. waking up dam early at like 6 or 7 mug lessons project meetings mug sleep. dam interesting. i need a breather.

what would happen if i never grew older every year? if i haven grad from jc? if i didnt come smu? if i didnt choose accountancy? if i cant stand the stress in smu? if everybody is not so super smart in uni? if i got more than 6 hours of sleep everyday? if i dont have to wake up at latest 7 everyday? if i dont have to take buses and trains at its most crowded peak hour everyday? if im able to spend more time with my family and friends who are the focus of my life? what if? will i enjoy my life more?

maybe. i dont know.

well, at least nobody knows.